RIGHT
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Just friends
Posted By: ibrwrng79
Explain My Vote
I don't understand why you need reinforcement from strangers. You say you have asked her if she's interested in you, and she answered, "just friends." THERE YOU HAVE IT!
Her calling you up to hang out is just her being friends with you...not her changing her mind about your friendship status. If you take her wanting to hangout as a sign of her being interested in you as more than a friend, then you should tell her that's how it makes you feel.
It's going to come down to this: do you want to keep her as a friend or not? It may be too difficult for you to remain friends with her, if you're going to be constantly looking for signs that she wants more. She doesn't. And, she won't. Your life isn't a romantic comedy, your friend just isn't going to wake up one day and realize she's in love with you.
It's up to you, do you want to be her friend and get over your unrequited love, or would you rather not be friends with her at all because you're not mature enough to handle liking someone more than they like you?
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She's wasting your life.
Posted By: Yeah-right
Explain My Vote
She's no friend - she's just plain toxic. Purge her from your life and go find someone more worthy. Tell her exactly the way you feel and exactly what you are looking for, versus what your current relationship yields.
If she's playing a game with you, you'll find out, and if she's not and being truthful as just friends, you'll find that out, too. Otherwise, in another 5 years, she'll still be wasting your life for you.
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WRONG
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Ask why
Posted By: Ishy
Explain My Vote
After this long, if she was into you and knows she would definitely not be rejected, and she still hasn't jumped at the chance, I'm sorry to say she's just not that into you. Ask her what makes you friend material instead of boyfriend material. If she's a real friend, she'll tell you.
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Keep It Movin'
Posted By: anon
Explain My Vote
Definitely move on. The truth is, most women know in a *very* short amount of time whether they are going to put you in the "just friends" category or the "potential" category. The "just friends" box is extremely hard to climb out of, something extraordinary would have to happen.
Everyone wants to be wanted. You have already let her know that you're into her. So when you are starting to move on to someone else and she calls and wants to hang out, that's just her keeping the bait hooked. Don't do it- it is a cycle that will go on for eternity, or at least until she finds someone to be with on a long-term basis. Meanwhile you've let many, many opportunities pass you by. I'm not saying cut her off as a friend or not to hang out with her- but if you, do just that and *only* that. Treat her like she's one of your boys. Don't make it out to be more than what it is, I would even let her know that you've moved on and that being just friends and only friends is fine with you.
As for the black/white thing...may or may not have anything to do with it. If it does, most likely it's a scenario where she may want to or be open to being with you, but she may be worried about what her friends or family will say or do. For her it may simply not be worth the flack she may take. Doesn't make her evil, doesn't make her racist, it sucks... but that is the reality. I don't know her so I can't say that that is the case. Either way move on, because you don't want to be romantically involved with someone who's not able to take a stand.
Best of luck..and like my momma says, "There's a lid for every pot". :)
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Move on
Posted By: NOVA Girl from Upstate NY
Explain My Vote
If she keeps saying that she wants to be just friends then I think you should move on.
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right
Posted By: Perry
Explain My Vote
Yeah, move on, but stay friends with her. I'm sure there's "benefits" to it. Try being a little flirty with her or put the moves on her and see what she'll do.
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WRONG
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you can try this...
Posted By: MK
Explain My Vote
Poster is wright. Likely nothing you can do. But, often people want what they can't have. Make yourself scarce. Stop calling her/talking to her (as much). Absence may make her heart grow fonder. Most importantly, MOVE ON. Your next romance can only wait so long...
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yes
Posted By: grumpy0282
Explain My Vote
well why cant you remain friends with her and find somebody that wants a more serious relationship with you ?
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right
Posted By:
Explain My Vote
No Comment
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It's tough...
Posted By: ironica
Explain My Vote
If she SAYS "just friends" then it seems like a good idea (and the respectful thing to do) to believe her. She knows how she feels, and she's trying to tell you. Take her word for it.
The reason(s) behind the phone calls can be hard to pinpoint. She may be calling you to hang out because she absolutely enjoys you, your company, your friendship, and she doesn't want to lose you. She may be calling you to make sure you aren't too badly hurt. She may be calling you because she likes having attention (being worshiped?) and she's just using you for that.
I think you're right - give up on the "more than friends" thing. Be friends. Find another girl to date.
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When you move on, she pursues, when you pursue, she backs off
Posted By: Clueless
Explain My Vote
It sounds like there might be potential for more than friends, but you can't invest yourself in that outcome. You have to accept that it might never happen. You might want to try the "you're moving on" tactic a little longer and see if her pursuit continues to increase.
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She may be leading you on
Posted By: Sally
Explain My Vote
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Time to move on
Posted By: Mark
Explain My Vote
No Comment
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