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Did he cheat?
Posted By: husband
Category: Relationship Issue
FIGHT DETAIL
I have been married going on 6 yers this Sept. About a week ago my husband confessed to me that he isn’t happy and in love with someone else a coworker i guess you can say. He works at a hospital. Well I’m so confused things between us were fine. We had a couple of bumps on the road in the beginning of our marriage but things were only getting better with time. We hardly ever argue and if we did it was something stupid. There were no problems in the bed department, like none what so ever. He say’s at first they were just friends talked about their relationships to one another, but about a month ago he developed strong feelings for her. He say’s he loves her. He also said they haven’t done anything physical. They were both sopose to tell their significant other, well he did obviously and she didn’t. So now he tells me maybe it was just a crush and a mistake. He told me everything about the other woman I couldn’t help but to laugh in beginning because he said that they argue alot already, she like nothing that he likes no common intrests at all, She isn’t sexual person, etc. Which made me even more confused, I thought people cheat for something more desirable, a f*** or something. Then I felt extreamly sick he says they talked about their future she wanting to have a baby with him. 3 weeks ago before this he had told me he wanted to have another baby. He said it would make him happier. We already have a 4 year old daughter. I considered it, I thought why not extend our family were stable and happy. I’m confused while he was c**ming in me he was talking about having a baby with her. It’s sick. It doesn’t make any sense. I think I might be pregnant. Now he tells me he loves me and that it would be a mistake to leave me because I’m a good woman. I don’t know what to do. No one seems to understand me. I’m hurt and confused. He is currently sleeping on the couch, I still love him very much. I think because there was nothing wrong in our relationship, but I guess I was wrong. Today he told me he wants to be with me and has spoke to her about them not happening. He also told me that I have to give him time to forget about her, because he loves her. I’m like WHAT!!?! doesn’t make sense. How could he say that. I told him that i needed to speak to her. He wouldn’t tell me who she is and said that I could speak to her i’d figure out who she was. Then later in the day, he said I would meet her eventually. He said that I want him to stay with me so he will. I haven’t asked him anything but to be sure of what he wants, but he keeps on changing sides. He says he should do what is right. I told him he should be with me because he loves me not because he hurt me and because I might be pregnant. He says all I care about is my happiness, then he says he loves me. I don’t get it. Any advice??? I’m going crazy.
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RIGHT
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Emotionally and maybe physically but only they know that
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No Comment
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use condoms!
Posted By: lu ee
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you're pregnant? nice one genius!
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coming from a mid 30s man that has been to more than 1 rodeo
Posted By: Jenny
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unfortunately, coming from a mid 30s man that has been to more than 1 rodeo: he cheated.
emotional cheating is just as bad as physical.
men do not fall in love with a woman they have never slept with or had zero physical relations with.
if he didn't fuck her, he sure as hell did something while working long hours at the hospital.
i would ask myself (if i were you) why is he telling me i will meet her EVENTUALLY? as if this relationship is progressing in some fashion throughout the course of time. very odd indeed. there is ALOT he is not telling you, BUT he did confess plenty. most men would have lied and never told. were you onto him or suspicious? maybe he thought it was best to give you SOME info rather than have you find out he is a full blown cheater.
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HE CHEATED
Posted By: NOBSN
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Yes he cheated. Emtional and physical are both cheating. My opinion is emotional is worse. With physical you can get away with excuses like "it was just one time" or "it didnt mean anything". Those excuses go out the window with emotional cheating and it will be a long recovery process should you chose to work it out. He was also irresponsible enough to try and bring another child in this works knowing that he was not entirely in this marriage and had severe thoughts of ending it. If he was unsure the least he couldve done was use protection. the child shouldve have to suffer becuase HE made bad choices! I cant say you made a bad decision becuase you were not fully aware of the circumstances so you basically based your actions off expanding your happy (or so you thought) family. Sounds to me that he just wants you to hang around while he figures out if he can/cant make it work with her. He seems like a man who needs aback up plan and cant be alone. If he doesnt want to be with you then so be , dont let the door him in the a**. YOU shouldnt have to wait for him to do anything, much less get over her! Tell him to get over himself! He owes you explainations and if he really wants it to work he needs to earn it and yes you have EVERY right to speak with her. She isnt innocent and he and her both knew there were other parties involved. Tell him stop copping a plea and own up! I hope your not pregnant. I feel you will have a clearer head if you aren't. Your decisions will be based of you and your 4 year old not another child that you will feel sorry for and end up staying becuase you want your children to have 2 parents as we all do.
I wish you luck!
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HE CHEATED
Posted By: NOBSN
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He CHEATED..whether physically or emotionally it's all pretty much the same although my peronsla opinion is emotional cheating is worse. Physically you can get away with the excuse "It was just one time" or "it didnt mean anythign". Emotionally, none of those excuses apply. As far as YOU giving him time to forget her, YOU don't have to do anything and I cant believe he even fixed his mouth right to say that. HE was irrespsonsible not using any protection and I say HE becuase he already knew that he no longer wanted to be with you. YOU on the other hand thought you were in a 2 party marriage and thought of briging another child into this as a family decision based on 2 ppl loving each other. Dont let him BS you, he just wants his cake and eat it to! In the end it's ultimately your decision I just hate for you to get duped AGAIN and be sorry for it later. I fyour going to stay at least make some rules for yourself and make him earn it and if he is not willing then he needs to go. Also you have a RIGHT to talk to her, she knew he was married just as much as he did so both him and her having some explaining and apologizing to do. For your sake I do hope you are NOT pregnant becuase I feel you will suject yourself to events or excuses for the sake of your unborn without thinking about the choices that you do have a little more clearer!
The best of luck to you!
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Posted By: avzkccpjgoe
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Only one way to win
Posted By: tuacaca
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Change the rules.
Yes. He obviously cheated.....and most likely STILL IS, and WILL AGAIN.
If you love him enough to accept that fact, maybe you should expolre polyamory (he already is, weather he knows it or not) and open your relationship. At least then, maybe you won't get decieved as much.
Honesty is a beautiful thing.
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Well
Posted By: Roger
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he probably didn't but he is scared as he nearly lost you & her... lol
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He cheated
Posted By: Bnh5151
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He definitely cheated when they were together. What I think happened now is he told you and when he went back to her she said she wasn't going to do it. So., he runs back to you to try to make it better because he doesn't want to be alone. The reason he said to give him time is that hes thinking that she might change her mind and then hes out. He s going to leave you flat. Hows he going to tell you all this and sleeping on the couch saying he needs time?? Very very Fishy my friend. Dont believe the hype. It sounds retarded what hes saying. I know your emotionally involved but hello!!!
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I think you need to work it out
Posted By: Mark IS it
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Life is short. If you have feelings for him work it out.
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Love Conquers All
Posted By: Purple Orchard
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Check out the movie fire proof.
And from personal experience, I can see that love conquers all.
We are human, we make mistakes, get lost on the journey.
To err is to human, to forgive is divine!
Remember why you made vows to one another, why you fell in love, what made you want to get married. Go back to that, those times, and try to rebuild. Its easy to throw things away today, but much harder to keep and maintain what we got, and often the older is more valuable than the new
GOODLUCK
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no second chances
Posted By: Irene
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its a tough situation to be in! esp if you are married, have a kid together and have another one on the way. for me personally, i usually dont give people second chances. who is to say a similar situation wont happen again where he will fall in love with someone else while he's still with you. to me, it seems like he's just stringing you along and keeping you around. the question to ask yourself is whether or not you can live without him. i think you can. there is someone out there that will love you for every second of the rest of your life and never even think about being with another woman. and you deserve that. think about it... could you ever really trust someone again who has just told you that they are in love with someone else? its SO easy to cheat. best of luck with whatever you may decide to do :)
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I think maybe
Posted By: Mark
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you guys should work it out. Sounds like you have a long history and its worth fighting for. But give it time if things do not pan out then maybe leave him. You have to go on your gut on this one. Kind of take it day by day. But sounds like maybe it was just a crush and this happens in life. You have to explore if you love him and find out if he really does love you. Go see that movie fire proof. Great movie explains allot of this.
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